Yesterday was one of the most fantastic days I have had all summer! I went to the beach with Amweg, Janna, and Manda. We went to Pt. Pleasant beach, after having a pancake breakfast at Amweg's home. Of course on the way there we got lost twice, but the ride was so much fun! We listened to such fantastic music, all from the 90's lol. When we got to the beach the water was COLD, but we still went in and just swam in the ocean. I felt somewhat at peace, I missed him, and manda saw it on my face. Damn for having a bff who can read you like a book. So we sat on the beach and sun bathed and gossiped. I must have a mis construed view on my body. I thought I was somewhat ok, ehhhhh wrong! I definetly need to lose the 20+ lbs. I've already lost five, I just need to keep eating better and walking brinks. On the boardwalk there is a physic, and I really really wanted to go. So of course I did. The woman told me I have my own physic capabilities, like an empath, I can sense other people's emotions which is true, it alway's has been. She also was able to see that I have two gaurdian angels, a male and a female. I have a very long life line and will live a happy prosporous life. Then it got freaky. She said I have a seperated love, I said yes the man I love is in the Marines, she said that he's gone now and i said yes, he's in Virgina and will be gone for four years. She shook her head no. He will be gone for less time then that, I asked if he was going to get hurt, she said i have to believe that he will be ok, he's going to hurt his leg or knee, but he will return. He has a good soul, and a good heart. This year I will meet a new man. It will start as a friendship and delelop into more. I will be confused and wonder how I can have two soulmates. But I am destined for the one I have already loved. WEIRD. Then she told me I need to get hematite stone the deflects negative energy and a book for regulating chakra. All the negative energy from my friends, its just making things more confusing and harder. Everything in my life is ok, its going in the right direction. it's going to be ok.

The universe is trying to tell me something. When he comes back, for a break, I leave the next day. When it is stated tha he is my soulmate, I find out that he's going to be gone for two years. Yes, Matt's dream has come true, he's going to Japan. FOR TWO YEARS! I swear, I honestly don't know if he's going to want to come back to the states. I am happy that his dream is coming true, he has always wanted to go to Japan, he loves everything about it. The technology, the food, the women, the women the otaku culture and once again women. This is a Big Big omen. We cannot be together. Who knows if we should ever be together again. I am happy that he's not in Iraq. At least he'll be safe. Thank god for that. Only one thing right now is certain. We are going in different places in our lives. Maybe we will be together again, who knows. All I know right now is that I love him and he loves me. Mike and Aunt Jill were right, all my friends were right nothing good can come from this. We are both going to get hurt. Or...perhaps we are destined to be. Who knows.