So I am without a doubt an IDIOT! Without realizing it I took advantage of my my best friend, fucked up something with Keagan, aka i told him that I'm starting to like him. Then like an IDIOT I talked about this with...his ex. Whom by the way is head over heals in love with another man. But Keagan is like her best friend, so of course she is going to be protective and a bit jealous. Totally understandable, but she was accusing me of judging him, and I don't know him very well, so I'm wrong. Well she is probably right about that. I don't know him very well, and I would rather be friends first and then date, because hello that is the best way to go about it. I don' t know. I think I just sabatogaged it. I hope I didn't because it would suck, really really suck because I want to get to know him better and be cool with him. So yeah that sucks as. Then there is the whole thing with Tristan. I invited him to come visit me, and then when he did I asked for his help with my computer. The poor guy felt taken advantage of, and like he had gone out of his way to help me, but I wasn't appreciative enough. I asked him to help me with two things, and have been going to him for emotional support during this time of change. I can understand why he would be angry, so yet again another problem. The thing with Alyssa, not a big deal, the girl is a true aquarius, aka, she is acting could and distant. But she has been completely honest about everything so that is good. I have to ride things out I know, but I really don't want to get hurt by him. I think he could, even if he didn't mean to. So I'm just going to see how things go. However, today sucked because of all these things. If I could I would turn back time and go back three days and do this all over again. I wouldn't take advantage of Tristan, I would make sure that he was happy and welcomed and didn't get lost in Jersey on his way home. I would Not tell Kegan anything, I would keep it too myself. And I would be in my room when Matt called so I could get his freaking phone call. I cried because I missed it last night, and this is the second one! I wish I could talk to him. I just want to know if he is okay.